Have you ever listened to a traffic report? We know what they mean, but what is the traffic reporter saying in their three-word slogans?
This is what I heard when I heard the G20 road closures.
G20 Road closures
Closed between Peel and Melbourne Street.
Local access to slavery is being closely monitored in that location. We might get the Cordelia out to have a look at that.
Closed between Cordelia Street and Merivale Street. Baron Glenelg has rejected the prospect of a Treaty with the Kulin Nations. We expect ongoing delays in this area.
Closed between Grey Street and South Bank Promenade.
The South Bank is, of course, North Jagera Country. Protective tariffs on are causing widespread starvation and displacement. Take extra care when crossing Russell.
Closed between Peel Street and Melbourne Street. Merivale is starting to see the effects of the disposal of land in new colonies under various economic strategies.
Closed between Melbourne Street and Peel St.
Between Melbourne and Peel, the Government has started to clarify who can and who cannot mine coal.
Closed between Victoria Bridge and Cordelia Street. There’s been a nasty episode of opium rage in the name of Free Trade. Free trade is proving very slippery and it could be a while before that mess is sorted out.
Closed southbound, between William Jolly Bridge and Peel Street. This will effect traffic back to Lang Park, where a head on collision between Grey and Lang has diverted the boats of the Cooksland Colonisation Company to a temporary offshore detention centre.
At the Peel St end, Robert Peel’s outlook has been that a police force can be trained to maintain and restore order without the use of guns and sabres. We’ll be keeping a close eye on that.
These have been the G20 leaders summit road closures – just a few of the creation stories of this city.